coconut cowboy a novel serge storms series book 19

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Coconut Cowboy

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 0062240056
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 61. 45 MB
Format : PDF
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Channeling his inner Easy Rider, Serge Storms saddles up for his most epic, lethal, and hilarious road trip ever as he revvs off to find the lost American Dream . . . starting in the Florida Panhandle. Obsessed with the iconic Sixties classic Easy Rider, encyclopedic Floridaphile, lovable serial killer, and movie buff extraordinaire Serge A. Storms devises his wildest plan yet: finish the journey begun by his freewheeling heroes, Captain America and Billy, tragically cut short by some shotgun-wielding rednecks. Setting a course for the Florida panhandle, Captain Serge—with Coleman literally riding shotgun—mounts his classic motorcycle and hits the highway in search of the real America: the apple-pie-eating, freedom-swilling moms and pops of Main Street USA. But the America he finds in the rural burgs dotting the neck of the peninsula is a little bit different . . . and a whole lot weirder than anything Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper encountered. In a state where criminal politicians are more common than gators, Serge and Coleman discover one particular speed-trap locale so aggressively inept at corruption that investigators are baffled where to start. Expect nothing less than madness, mayhem, ingenious homicides, and mind-altering pharmaceuticals when Serge and Coleman’s path intersects with the Sunshine State’s hyper-dysfunctional rusticity. Where’s Jack Nicholson when you need him?

Shark Skin Suite

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 9780062240033
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 80. 67 MB
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Bottom feeders beware: the Sunshine State’s favorite psychotic killer and lovable Floridaphile Serge Storms has found a new calling, legal eagle, and he’s going to make a killing as a crusading attorney—and star as a dashing lawyer on the big screen—in this madcap escapade from the insanely funny New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. When it comes to swimming with the sharks, there is no bigger kahuna than Serge Storms. Binging on a marathon of legal movies set in Florida, Serge finds his calling: the law. Never mind law school or that degree, Serge becomes a freelance fixer—wildcat paralegal and pilgrim to the hallowed places where legal classics of the big screen such as Body Heat, Cool Hand Luke, and Absence of Malice were filmed practically in his own backyard. One of Serge’s old flames, young lawyer Brook Campanella, is also a rising star thanks to her expertise in the field of foreclosure law. Ruthless at taking down the greedy banksters kicking people out of their homes, she lands a major class-action lawsuit, and wins big. The opposition is determined to shut her down and they’ll go to extreme lengths to do it. Luckily for her, Serge has been hired to do some investigative legwork on the case. There's nothing he likes better than saving a damsel in distress, especially when it means kicking a bunch of shyster butt. The mayhem comes to a hilarious head at the Key West courthouse, at the height of the island’s raucous Fantasy Fest street carnival, and no one, including Serge, will ever be the same.

Florida Roadkill

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 0061833029
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 35. 12 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s. In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

Clownfish Blues

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 9780062429247
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 54. 59 MB
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A (Serge A.) Storm is brewing for a cabal of bad guys gaming the Florida state lottery in this insanely funny novel from the maestro of mayhem, Tim Dorsey. If you’re loud and proud Floridian Serge A. Storms, how do you follow up your very own remake of Easy Rider? You shoot your own "episodes" of your favorite classic television show, Route 66! With Coleman riding shotgun, Serge is rolling down the highway of his dreams in a vintage silver convertible Corvette just like the snazzy car Martin Milner drove. It doesn’t matter that the actual Route 66 didn’t pass through Florida, for Serge discovers that a dozen episodes near the series’ end were filmed (really!) in his beloved home state. So for Serge and the always toked and stoked Coleman, the Sunshine State is all the road you need to get your kicks. But their adventure traveling the byways of the Sunshine State’s underbelly is about to take a detour. Someone is trying to tilt the odds in the state lottery amidst a conga line of huge jackpots spinning off more chaos than any hurricane season. With this much at stake, of course every shady character wants in. Crooked bodega owners, drug cartels laundering money through the lottery, and venture capitalists are all trying to game the system—and lining up to get their cut. They’re also gambling with their lives, because when Serge and Coleman get hip to this timely (and very lucrative) trip, there’s no telling whose number is up next. Throw in Brooke Campanella, Serge’s old flame, as well as the perpetually star-crossed Reevis, and it’s a sure bet that the ever lucky Serge will hit it big. Winning has never been this deadly—or this much fun!

Tiger Shrimp Tango

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 9780062092830
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 76. 74 MB
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Determined to save a damsel in distress, the Sunshine State’s favorite serial killer and encyclopedia of Florida lore Serge Storms dances a tango of death and mayhem in this funny and dementedly entertaining crime caper from Tim Dorsey, author of the New York Times bestseller The Riptide, Ultra-Glide. Thanks to the Internet, America has become a playground for ruthless scam artists out to make an easy buck. And where do these models of entrepreneurship hail from? Why, the Sunshine State of course! No one loves Florida more, or can keep it safe from invasive criminal species better than self-appointed Sunshine Sheriff Serge Storms. When a particular scam leads to the death of a few innocents and a young woman's disappearance, Serge and his perpetually self-bent sidekick Coleman—aided by his new pal, latter-day noir private eye Mahoney—load up the car for a riotous road trip to do right. Packed with seafood, mayhem, blood, Coleman’s deep thoughts, Floridian lore, and more, Tiger Shrimp Tango is a hilarious treat from the incomparable Tim Dorsey.

Gator A Go Go

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 0061966215
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 30. 34 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break! It's been a long time coming, but they're at the party now—and you'll never look at a Frisbee the same way again. One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice. Along the way he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in their wake. Are the kids safer under Serge's protection? Or does being with him put them in more peril? The classroom and the pot brownies never prepared them for this. Which raises more questions: Who's the guy studying satellite photos? Where did the protected witness go? When did Coleman get all those trophies? Why are the Feds hot on everyone's trail? How did the burnt corpse end up by the pool? What's the best way to keep beer cool on the beach? Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders to ever mix a rum runner. Throw in some dirty dancing contests, illicit drugs, rockin' tunes, screamin' sports cars, bungee rides, pawned class rings, and church breakfasts, and you've got a potent concoction that keeps the hotel's concierge up all night stopping people from falling off the balconies. Want even more? Serge says, "You got it!" After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge—except without the morals. The mysteries continue to mount: How did Coleman end up with even more disciples than Serge? Can kids successfully climb fences while carrying pizzas? Will Serge survive the carnage, armed with a GPS and a kiddie pool? All will soon be answered—and of course every last moment is caught on tape as Serge creates his most excellent documentary ever, the making of Gator A-Go-Go. Pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget—no matter how much you might try!

Hurricane Punch

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 0061745731
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 37. 85 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance—just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose—another serial killer—which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right—though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to.

The Big Bamboo

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 0061828521
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 39. 96 MB
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Serge A. Storms returns! The world's most lovable serial killer is back, bringing together an Oscar-worthy cast of Sunshine State nut jobs with his insatiable passion for All Things Florida. During this latest cavalcade of nonstop felonies—from Tampa to Fort Lauderdale to Orlando—Serge finds time to resurrect his obsession with movies, particularly those showcasing his beloved home state. And he wants answers! Why aren't more films shot here? How come the ones that are stink so bad? And what's up with filming "Florida" scenes in California? Then there's the cryptic message from his grandfather, Sergio, telling him to go to Los Angeles to uncover a mysterious secret from the distant past. It's too much of a coincidence. It's fate. Naturally, Serge, accompanied by his substance-sustained sidekick, Coleman, must immediately hop a transcontinental flight to straighten out Hollywood once and for all. But, of course, being Serge, his mission is sidetracked by perpetual detours to irresistible celluloid landmarks . . . and intrigue. Meanwhile, in Burbank, production of what may become the most expensive flop in Tinseltown history is interrupted by the brazen abduction of the female lead. Meanwhile, a couple of midwestern dreamers head west for their shot at fame—and find it at the center of a celebrity murder investigation. And even more meanwhile, infamous studio heads Ian and Mel Glick continue to produce juggernaut high-grossing dreck, casting-couch perversion, and cocaine hijinks. But there's more. Much more. How is the Japanese mafia involved? The Alabama mafia? Is the castrating cult throwing a membership party? Will Coleman survive his binge at the Belushi hotel? Who can defuse the nuclear bomb? It all comes crashing together in a breathtaking climactic sequence that prompts an enthusiastic Serge to proclaim: "Two thumbs way, way up!" So come on in and grab a seat. The show's about to start. . . .

Tropical Warning

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 9780062331489
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 22. 59 MB
Format : PDF, Docs
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A quirky new collection by New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. In the tradition of Pineapple Grenade and The Riptide Ultra-Glide, a peculiar new volume of odds and ends from the world of everyone's favorite Florida psychopath—Serge Storms! Among the flotsam and jetsam of Dorsey's twisted universe: A never-before-published Serge Storms short story that places the iconic antihero in one of Florida's oldest (and most remote) little towns. A classic travel feature in London's The Guardian detailing how you can explore Florida's most offbeat hidden corners like a true native. It seems Serge's reputation has spread across the pond! An exclusive teaser chapter from January 2014's Tiger Shrimp Tango, the next installment in the never-ending adventures of Serge Storms.

The Stingray Shuffle

Author : Tim Dorsey
ISBN : 9780061842306
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 31. 1 MB
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When serial-killing local Florida historian Serge A. Storms is off his meds, no one is safe -- not Russian hoods, Jamaican mobsters, spoiled frat boys, women's book clubs, drug dealers, bad Vegas-rejected local lounge acts -- especially when $5 million in cash in a bugged suitcase is still racing up and down the Eastern Seaboard. But in the oddball circus known as the Sunshine State, little things like astronomical body counts tend to get lost in the shuffle.

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