rock the boat how to use conflict to heal and deepen your relationship

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Rock The Boat

Author : Resmaa Menakem
ISBN : 9781616495930
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 78. 95 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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An honest look at what really works to bring more intimacy and deeper trust into your relationship. Couples therapist Resmaa Manakem challenges couples not to avoid conflict—Don’t be afraid to rock the boat! The emotional transformation that results can forge a greater, more mature intimacy; a deeper trust; and a stronger bond. An honest look at what really works to bring more intimacy and deeper trust into your relationship. Couples therapist Resmaa Manakem challenges couples not to avoid conflict—Don’t be afraid to rock the boat! The emotional transformation that results can forge a greater, more mature intimacy; a deeper trust; and a stronger bond.Conflict is a natural part of any intimate relationship. Yet most couples either avoid it or try to smooth over their differences. This results in at least one partner compromising their integrity—and stunting their own growth. Gritty, often irreverent, and always practical, Rock the Boat challenges couples not to flee from conflicts, because the emotional stalemate that conflicts produce creates an opportunity for profound transformation. This transformation affirms each partner’s individuality while forging a more mature intimacy, a greater trust, and a deeper bond. Rock the Boat challenges the idea that conflict between partners is unhealthy or something to avoid. Instead, it encourages both people to stand by what they need and who they are—but to do so with compassion rather than competitiveness or vengefulness. This is the purpose of an intimate relationship: to create an atmosphere where both people learn to grow up and mature in their relationship by appreciating each other’s individual needs in a caring and mature way.Author Resmaa Menakem, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in couples therapy, addresses key factors in making this happen, including accepting discomfort and uncertainty; honesty and openness about sex, money, kids, and in-laws; recognizing when conflict might escalate into violence or abuse; and, when appropriate, finding and working with a good therapist.Rock the Boat is not about ideals, or what we hope or imagine relationships to be. It's an honest, unflinching look at what actually works.

Fight Your Way To A Better Marriage

Author : Greg Smalley
ISBN : 9781416544838
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 79. 43 MB
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Claims that healthy arguments between spouses--confrontations that deal with the core issues of conflict and retain trust and intimacy at the heart of communication--can lead to a happier and longer-lasting marriage.

The Given World

Author : Marian Palaia
ISBN : 9781476777931
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 73. 14 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Withdrawing and taking drugs to cope when her brother goes missing in Vietnam, Riley falls in love with a reservation youth who also goes to war, compelling a journey to Vietnam that introduces her to others affected by wartime losses. A first novel.

Soul Without Shame

Author : Byron Brown
ISBN : 9780834825321
Genre : Psychology
File Size : 53. 79 MB
Format : PDF, ePub
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Whether we call it the inner critic, superego, or just plain nag, most of us have a "judge within" who's constantly on our case. A comprehensive guide to understanding how the inner critic works, this book offers practical, positive suggestions for breaking free of it. Using straightforward language and examples from everyday life, Byron Brown shows: Where the inner judge came from How it operates Why it trips us up Why we believe we need it How to develop awareness of it How to disengage from it The "soul qualities" we can develop to weaken its influence Each chapter begins with an episode of the "Frank and Sue story," dramatically illustrating how the inner critic works; each chapter ends with a simple exercise designed to help the reader move along the path of self-discovery.

Don T Forgive Too Soon

Author : Dennis Linn
ISBN : 0809137046
Genre : Religion
File Size : 64. 7 MB
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This illustrated book describes how to forgive in a healthy way by moving through the five stages of forgiveness. This is a forgiveness that renounces vengeance and retaliation, but does not passively acquiesce to abuse in any form.

Attached

Author : Amir Levine
ISBN : 1101475161
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 40. 25 MB
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Is there a science to love? In this groundbreaking book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now. Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes. In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: *ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. *AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. *SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers readers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Warrior Renew

Author : Dr. Lori Katz, PhD
ISBN : 9780826122322
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 38. 81 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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ìKnowing the results of Dr. Katzís work and the many lives that she has changed, I feel delighted to endorse [her] Warrior Renew workbook for men and women seeking healing from MST. Although the high prevalence rates of MST are discouraging, I am confident that Warrior Renew can reach many, many MST survivors and provide the hope and healing that they need.î -Lt. Col. Patricia Jackson-Kelley Los Angeles County Veterans Advisory Commission Quotes from Past Participants: ìThank you for your efforts in turning my life around. I have faith now that my life will be as it should have been. Iíve gotten hope back. It truly does work.î ìI know now that I can conquer anything I put my heart and mind to. This (program) has saved my broken life.î ìYouíve helped me immensely, by healing from the inside out! Thank you! Hundreds of thousands of US military personnel have been victims of sexual assault and harassment. This client workbook is an essential part of an integrative, evidence-based treatment developed over many years by Lori S. Katz, PhD, to help survivors of Military Sexual Trauma (MST). The only workbook of its kind, it provides a wide range of therapeutic exercises and activities to help survivors restore their sense of safety and reclaim their lives. These include obtaining an in-depth understanding of MST, opportunities for self-discovery, and engaging the body with movement and relaxation exercises in a context of support, caring, and validation. This workbook is designed to help MST survivors understand normal reactions to MST and how to manage them. Readers will learn how to release the grips of anger and resentment, injustice, betrayal, self-blame, shame, and grief. They will learn how to deal with such physical symptoms as sleep problems and stress and engage in assessment of their own interpersonal patterns. The book also explores the impact of MST on relationships and how to cultivate and sustain healthy relationships, intimacy and sexuality. Additionally, the workbook can be used to help individuals who have experienced childhood and/or adult sexual abuse and trauma. Through Warrior Renew, survivors will be able to move forward in their lives by creating a new sense of identity, purpose, and self-worth. Key Features: Provides an effective, easy-to-use treatment for MST Addresses a variety of issues specific to MST such as injustice, betrayal, self-blame, effect on intimacy and trust, and emotional isolation Includes therapeutic activities including writing exercises, visualizations, relaxation and movement exercises, and group interactions

Is It Love Or Is It Addiction

Author : Brenda Schaeffer D.Min, M.A.L.P., C.A.S.
ISBN : 1592858368
Genre : Self-Help
File Size : 58. 91 MB
Format : PDF
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Many of us confuse longing and obsession with true love. Through two previous editions, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As the author reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love. In this expanded third edition, Brenda Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to break free of it. Stories of real people struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help readers to free themselves to find real intimacy. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction. Brenda Schaeffer, D.Min., M.A.L.P., C.A.S., is a licensed psychologist and a certified addiction specialist, and she holds a doctorate in spiritual psychology. Schaeffer lectures and trains internationally.

The New Rules Of Marriage

Author : Terrence Real
ISBN : 9780345497383
Genre : Family & Relationships
File Size : 39. 31 MB
Format : PDF, ePub, Docs
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In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right! Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up. Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you’ll discover how to - identify and articulate your wants and needs - listen well and respond generously - set limits, and stand up for yourself - embrace and appreciate what you have - know when to seek outside help The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion. We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision. From the Hardcover edition.

Soil And Soul

Author : Alastair McIntosh
ISBN : 9781845137953
Genre : Nature
File Size : 46. 43 MB
Format : PDF, Mobi
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DIV It is easy to feel helpless in the face of the torrent of information about environmental catastrophes taking place all over the world. In this powerful and provocative book, Scottish writer and campaigner Alastair McIntosh shows how it is still possible for individuals and communities to take on the might of corporate power and emerge victorious. As a founder of the Isle of Eigg Trust, McIntosh helped the beleaguered residents of Eigg to become the first Scottish community ever to clear their laird from his own estate. And plans to turn a majestic Hebridean mountain into a superquarry were overturned after McIntosh persuaded a Native American warrior chief to visit the Isle of Harris and testify at the government inquiry. This extraordinary book weaves together theology, mythology, economics, ecology, history, poetics and politics as the author journeys towards a radical new philosophy of community, spirit and place. His daring and imaginative responses to the destruction of the natural world make Soil and Soul an uplifting, inspirational and often richly humorous read. /div

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